Hogwarts Karoeke
by Evening Star1
Summary: Umm...the title kinda says all. Humor/Humor.
1. The Serpents!

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah.Hey! I'm singing a Kylie Monogue song! K, sry if I offended, and I don't own any of the things I did in this story, especially not the craft dinner!  
  
Strange Karaoke Time At Hogwarts  
  
Dumbledore forced everybody to go to a karaoke night, he prepared, blah, blah, blah, the same old story. Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, and Alan McNair walk onto the stage that Albus Dumbledore had so kindly made them get onto and started to sing.  
  
Snape: Every body, yeah Rock you body yeah, Every body yeah, Rock your body right!  
  
Hermione *whispering: Snape can sing?  
  
All: Serpents back, all right!  
  
Malfoy: Oh my god, we're back again! Slytherins, Ravenclaws, every body sing, Going to bring the flavour, show you how, Got a question for you, Better answer now.  
  
Snape: Am I original?  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
McNair: Am I the only one? *Susan Bones chokes on butterbeer  
  
All: Maybe!  
  
Malfoy: Am I sexual? *Draco's face pales  
  
All: Hell no!  
  
Snape: Am I everything you need, Better rock your body now!  
  
All: Everybody, yeah! Yeah! Rock your body, yeah! Yeah! Everybody, yeah! Rock your body right! Serpents back, all right! All right!  
  
Snape: Now throw your hands up in the air! Wave 'em around like you just don't care! If you wanna party let me hear you, yeah!  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
Snape: 'Cuz we got to go on again! Am I original?  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
McNair: Am I the only one?  
  
All: Maybe!  
  
Malfoy: Am I sexual?  
  
All: Hell no!  
  
Snape: Am I everything you need, Better rock your body now!  
  
All: Everybody, yeah! Yeah! Rock your body, yeah! Yeah! Everybody, yeah! Rock your body right! Serpents back, all right! All right!  
  
McNair: So purebloods, everywhere, Don't be afraid, don't have any fear.  
  
Malfoy: Gonna tell the Wizarding world, Make them understand.  
  
Snape: As long as they're as there'll be music, We'll be coming back again!  
  
All: Everybody, yeah! Yeah! Rock your body, yeah! Yeah! Everybody, yeah! Rock your body right! Serpents back, everybody, yeah! Yeah! Rock your body, yeah! Yeah! Everybody, yeah! Rock your body right! Serpent's back, all right!  
  
Everybody cheers, because it's over  
  
Ron Weasly and .oh, damn can't think of any one else who would like.NEVERMIND! K, so Albus Dumbledore worshippers drag up Ron Weasly, because they're the only people insane enough to help brother of the pervert Aberforth (sp?). Snape and the "Serpents" look upon him and actually pity the Griffindor. And he starts to sing, quite horridly.  
  
Weasly: Hey, yeah! That's the way, that is the way, that's the way, That's the way I like it!  
  
Fred and George *huddled in corner with Weasly Wizard Wheezes, which are now illegal: So proud, we're finally wearing off on him, he's gone insane! wipe fake tears on sleeves.  
  
*That's the way in background Somebody told me that you're not my kind, So have I lost my mind?  
  
Snape *muttering: Obviously.  
  
You keep on doing all the things I like, You've got me hypnotized, But, that's the way I like it! Girl, you make me want to move, It's the price I've got to pay,  
  
Draco*raises eyebrows: It can afford to pay for a girl? Most likely a 2- cent whore.  
  
All the things you do, I like it! Got to listen to the groove,  
  
Lucius: Groove? Isn't that what we called it when we went to Hogwarts, Severus?  
  
And you got to listen well, The way you do it, That's the way I like it! Everybody now, I like it, Everybody now, that's the way I like it! Everybody c'mon, I like it, Everybody c'mon, that's the way I like! Oh bookish lady, You got something I like, Tell me your hear to stay, Your brainy, oh baby, Good to do me right, Will you come out to study? 'Cuz that's the way I like it! Got to listen to the groove, And you got to listen well, The way you do it, That's the way I like it! Everybody, now, I like it, Everybody now, that's the way I like it! Everybody c'mon, I like it, Everybody c'mon, that's the way I like it! Everybody c'mon, I like it, Everybody c'mon, Now listen to the groove, And you got to listen well, The way you do it, Hey Yeah! That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it, That's the way I like it!  
  
ME: Okay.ummm. I have run out of ideas! So intermission!  
  
*Brings out Kelsey Raycraft her good friend who's last name reminds her of Craft dinner, and gets her to do the dance she made up for intermission in grade four. 


	2. The Maurders Are Back, Back Again, Tell ...

Chapter 2: The Maurders are back, back again, tell a friend!  
  
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin sneak up to the back of the great hall where Snape hands them some youth potion thingy-midgiger, and give Padfoot a good kick before they walk onto the stage.  
  
Black: Ah, Maurders, One time, here we go.  
  
Snape: They must mean one more time, stupid Griffindorks.  
  
Lupin: I can tell when I step in love, And saw you standing there, A thought about the way you move, I couldn't help the way I stare, There was some mysterious force, Leading me here to you.  
  
Black: Leading him to you!  
  
Semeus Finnegan: Who the hell is the other guy?  
  
Harry *nervous: Heh, heh, heh.dunno.  
  
Lupin: So I stood there watching, I was hypnotized, By the rhythm of your body, And the music in your eyes.  
  
Both: I was lost inside a world with you! Hey Mr. DJ keep play' in this song for me, Out on the floor in my arms, She's got to be! Lets get on, Jam all night long, Mr DJ, Mr DJ! Play it, play it for me.  
  
Ron: Who is Mr. Dee Jay?  
  
Black: Now it feels little like movement, Ever beat across the floor, Every move that your body makes, Only makes me want you more, And it seems like times moving fast, How can we make it last?  
  
Both: Make it last!  
  
Lupin: As you keep on dancing, I was hypnotized, By the rhythm of your body, And the music in your eyes. Both: I was lost inside a world with you! Hey Mr. DJ keep play' in this song for me, Out on the floor in my arms, She's got to be! Lets get on, Jam all night long, Mr DJ, Mr DJ! Play it, play it, and play it for me. Close your eyes, And imagine, just imagine, Let the music; let the music put you in a zone, I get lost, lost inside, When you do the things you do, Work that body for me! Hey Mr DJ, Jam all night long, Hey Mr DJ, Play that song for me, Hey Mr DJ, Jam all night long, Hey Mr DJ, Play that song for me! Hey Mr. DJ keep play' in this song for me, Out on the floor in my arms, She's got to be! Lets get on, Jam all night long, Mr DJ, Mr DJ! Play it, DJ! Hey, Mr DJ, Keep play' in this song for me, Out on the floor in my arms, She's got to be, Let's get it on, Jam all night long, Mr DJ, Mr DJ, Play it, play it for me DJ, Hey Mr. DJ keep play' in this song for me, Out on the floor in my arms, She's got to be! Lets get on, Jam all night long, Mr DJ, Mr DJ! Play it Mr DJ, Keep it Coming Mr DJ, Keep it Coming Mr DJ, Keep it Coming Mr DJ.  
  
"Well, wasn't that. erm.interesting," said Dumbledore as he stumbled over words, an all time first, "Next we have Mr. Draco Malfoy and Crap.Excuse me, Crabbe, and Goyle, singing.something."  
  
Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape lean forward in their chairs next, and they will soon regret it, because Goyle can't even sing the Oscamier Weiner song.  
  
Draco: If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy!  
  
Goyle and Crabbe: Uhhhh.*Draco comes up and shoves them to the side*  
  
Draco: Yeah, I like this, If you want it to be wild, Got to know this to the dial, baby, That's me, If you really like it hot, Here's the one that hits the spot, honey, Oh yes, And if you wanna get it done, Then you got to get the one, The one who's got it going on, If you want to make it last, Then know this to the last, Baby's, got to be the best, Tonight, yeah, If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! If you really want it good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! Get it like it could be.  
  
Lucius whispering feverently to Snape: I swear it's you who taught him do the hip thing like Shakira, not me!  
  
Goyle and Crabbe: Would be!  
  
Draco: Yeah, like it should be,  
  
All: If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy!  
  
Draco: If you like it innovative, Got to get someone creative, honey, And if you want it to be jammin', Got to get someone slamming, baby, And if you want to get it done, Then you got to get the one, The one whose got it going on, Then know this to the last, Baby's, got to be the best, Tonight, yeah, If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! If you really want it good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! If you really want it good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! Get it like it could be.  
  
Goyle and Crabbe: Would be!  
  
Draco: Yeah, like it should be,  
  
All: If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy!  
  
Dean Thomas: *Shuddered  
  
Draco: Now listen.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: There's a fine!  
  
Draco: Your mama shouldn't know.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: There's a fine!  
  
Draco: I really want to show.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: There's a fine!  
  
Draco: I want to show you how!  
  
All: So wont you let me show you right now!  
  
Draco: And if you wanna get it done, Then you got to get the one, The one who's got it going on, If you want to make it last, Then know this to the last, Baby's, got to be the best, If you want it to be good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! That's right! If you really want it good girl, Get yourself a bad boy! If you really want it, If you really want it, Get it like it could be.  
  
Goyle and Crabbe: Would be!  
  
Draco: Yeah, like it should be, If you want it to be good, Got to be like it should!  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: If you really want it good.  
  
Harry sits in front row seat, drooling and staring at Draco. "Oi! Harry, what's the matter, mate?" Said a very disturbed Ronald Weasly. "What? What did you say?" Asked Harry as he came out of his.well state, and made up a quick lie. " Blimey, Ron, you have to speak louder, did you see Dra- err- Malfoy, I was about to barf!" But not all were fooled, and a red headed girl sat behind the curtains screaming, "DAMN YOU BUZZ LIGHTYEAR DAMN Y- oh, ahem- DAMN YOU DRACO MALFOY, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!  
  
*ME: BWA! Now I shall send out my leading weapon for the next intermission, BRANDON HOMO, er, KOMO! Review! I want reviews! 


	3. Ooops, I farted again!

Chapter Three: Herm-ninny!  
  
Hermione, quite surprisingly walks up.willingly, on to the stage, and looks like Gwen Stefani (sp?), and start to sing.  
  
Granger: Oh, baby, baby, Oh, baby, baby, Oh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? That something wasn't right here, Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go, And now you're right outside, yeah, Show me, how you want it to be, Tell me baby, cause I need to know now, What, because, my loneliness is killing me, And I must confess, I still believe, Still believe!  
  
*She walks toward the "Serpents" table, and well starts doing the kind of dance moves you'll see in Coyote Ugly (great movie, really.).In front of Snape. Snape takes a drink to try and hide his smile, and Lucius and McNair smile knowingly, Draco makes unpleasant facial movements.  
  
When I'm not with you I lose my mind, Give me a sign! Hit me baby, one more time! Oh, baby, baby, the reason I work is you,  
  
*Lucius running around doing happy dance with a bland-looking Draco, while Severus, as usual, scowls a scowl that could make Yoda kneel over, dead. "I knew it, I knew, Malfoy's are always right! Boo Yeah!"  
  
Man, you've got me blinded, I tell you baby, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, Nothing, hey, I'm blinded, Show me, how you want it to be, Tell me baby, cause I need to know now, What, because, my loneliness is killing me, And I must confess, I still believe, Still believe! When I'm not with you I lose my mind, Give me a sign! Hit me baby, one more time! Oh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? Oh pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go, I must confess, that my loneliness is killing me now Don't you know, I still believe? And you will be here, And give me a sign, Hot me baby one more time! My loneliness is killing me, And I must confess, I still believe, Still believe! When I'm with you, I lose my mind, Give me a sign, Hit me baby one more time! I just confess.  
  
She ran of leaving a very happy Severus Snape; well, as happy as Snape could be, I think. Also, It just happens to be, that after the Harry/Draco incident, that Ron went to join Ginny in her suspicious seating arrangements. They were both cursing:  
  
"DAMN YOU STAR COMMAND, DAMN Y- err- DAMN YOU SLYTHERINS, DAMN YOU!" They screamed, while there loud weasel-like voices were so strong that they knocked over Prof. Flitwick, and he took a point off Griffindor. Now Ginny's hair wasn't like fire for no reason, and she wanted Harry's attention, instead of Neville Longbottoms, for just once. So, she walks up onto the stage, clad in leather, well barely clad in anything at all.  
  
Weasly: Baby, I'm so into you, You've got that something, what can I do? Baby, you spin me around, The earth is moving,  
  
Ron: Blimey! The Earth moves?!?!?!?  
  
Hermione exasperatedly: Yes, Ron, the earth moves, and it's round!  
  
Gred and Forge: NO! It's flat! We have evidence!  
  
Harry shudders at the thought of how exactly they acquired that evidence (hint, hint)  
  
But I can't feel the ground, Every time you look at me, My heart is jumping; it's easy to see, Loving you means so much more, More than anything I've felt before! You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep, Oh, crazy, But it feels all right, Baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night! Tell me, your so into me, That I'm the only one you will see, Tell me, I'm not in the blue, That I'm not wasting my feelings on you, Loving you means so much more, More than anything I've felt before! You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep, Oh, crazy, But it feels all right, Baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night! Oh, crazy, I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep, Oh, crazy, But it feels all right, Every day and every night! You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep, Oh, crazy, But it feels all right, Baby, thinking of you keeps me up all night. Baby thinking of you, keeps me up all night!  
  
As Ginny walked off, she blew Harry a kiss, he managed a weak smile, but to tell the truth he was really thinking, "Awww, fuck, she's not comeing onto me again is she?"  
  
Me: Now onto another intermission! Bring out the schools wannabe Power Puff girls! Meet Rachel, Alyssa, Spencer, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd Katelyn! 


End file.
